Saturday, January 20, 2007


You might see it somewhere in the school magazine, if it gets selected. Anyhow...Enjoy reading....!!

A choice, that’s what I had to make. I drove my beat-up convertible down the road. The sunlight filtered through the orange, auburn and ginger leaves of the maple trees and the soft rays rested on my soul. I felt a sense of happiness after a long time, I was surrounded by isolated peace and there was a hint of jazz playing in the background, I immersed myself in this ambiance suitably forgetting the choice I had made.

Without myself realizing it I had reached the parking lot of Saint Michaels Hospital. As I forced myself to make my way to the intensive care unit, room number 1357. My legs were wobbly, an uneasy and fretful feeling swept over my body like an ice cold wave. Soon, I was at door number 1357 turning the doorknob, my hands were damp with fear, my eyes were trying hard not to let the tears drop down. I had to be brave. I opened the door and entered the room. A heartbreaking silence filled the room; I looked at my brother as he lied there powerlessly. He was my best friend and companion. We were orphaned at a young and tender age, and have been each other’s weakness and strength since then. It killed me to see him lie there, asking for salvation. He had been the victim of a drunken driver accident that had left him brain dead. He had been hooked onto a life supporter machine, I had been told not to hope as there was a very little chance of recovery. The doctors told me he couldn’t hear me, but I knew in my heart that he could and I spent every afternoon reading his much loved poems.

Precisely 7 days ago I was told that there was no hope and I had to make a choice – To give me brother freedom and get those tubes and needle of off him or to leave him there begging for mercy. I was told that there were other patients who could use this machine as they had hope. I looked into my brothers’ brown eyes that once showed the dreams of becoming a doctor himself. They were filled with dread and wanted to escape. As much as I didn’t want him to leave me, I made the decision of setting him free, for he had a right to fly just like the rest of us.

Today was the last day of us being together. I kissed his hand good-bye. My eyes couldn’t control themselves as I felt the tears drop, the time had come, and the doctors switched off the machine. I knew I had lost the most precious thing in this world but in knew my brother would forever be in my heart. And then he was just gone in a moment.

That afternoon I read his poems to myself sitting in a park, all by myself... As I looked towards the green lush grass that shone in under sunbeams as if someone has sprinkled broken glass pieces all over the grass, I thought to myself that choices are a way of life that we all have to accept. Choices can make you or break you. Our lives depend on the choices we make and the choices we make depend on the life we want to lead. Our decisions can be rewarding and worthwhile or just disappointing, unsatisfactory and emotionally wrenching; at the end of our journey we all go back to the maker of it all – God. Our choices give us the right to fly and soar the skies, we all have once dreamed of. I stared at a bird flying gaily overhead, and that gave me a sign and sense of satisfaction that my brother had reached a place where he wanted to be.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Blogger's Break

Well, I haven’t been updating my blog and a few of my friends have been waiting for me to do so. Sorry to let you guys down but I’m taking a break for a while because I have things going on in my life that I’m trying to cope with. Once all this shit stops, and when I can start thinking straight again….I will be back.

“Sometimes, it's hard to say no if you really mean yes. It's hard to close our eyes if we really want to see. It's hard to forget if we really can't. The hardest is to go if we really want to stay.”