Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Love = Bullshit

I read this on my cousins facebook profile page - " I love you has eight letters and so does bullshit." I didnt think about it much, till it came up in one of our lunch "talks" between me and Niyati that is.
Another one of my friends had her personal message on msn as - Why do fools fall in love?

Really got me thinking.

As little girls we saw those freaking Disney movies, you know with the happily ever after endings. Thats where the notion of - oh my God, I want to be in love too someday too - birthed from, And then there's chick lit, chick flicks, even in those damn action movies the hero after all his thrills an stunts, with blood and scars on his body, his oh-so hot perfect muscles, dirt all over his clothes manages to get the hot girl at the end of it all. Basically almost everything around us, what we see gives us false expectations about this thing called love. Whatever that is.

As Niyati and I got talking about this, we realized that there are a few friends of ours who are apparently "in love" , well we just decided not to acknowledge them, passed them off as the few "lucky" ones. So in conclusion, after about fifteen minutes of talking about this, we decided, love is bullshit. I said it with all my heart, love is bullshit. It doesnt exist, it's just a jumbling of neurotransmitters, hormones and of course the infatuation inducing stimulant - phenylethylamine in our bodies. There aren't any real Edwards Cullens.Period.

So we got talking, why the fuck do we need the male species.... Niyati said at the end of it all they are needed just to procreate, carry the race forward. We managed to come up for a solution for that too. Sounds ridiculous and it is influenced by our English class but we can just save all the sperms in a sperm donation bank and kill the male species. It sounded so majorly cool when i said it at that time, after typing it right now, I realize how idiotic it sounds. For some reason, its sounds idiotically super cool.

Hatred towards men and love, we've read about it in Miss.Julie, an extract from the play that I enjoyed alot - (Miss Julie to Jean) "You think I'm so weak - oh, I should like to see your blood, your brains, on a chopping block - I'd like to see all of your sex swimming in a lake of blood - I think I could drink from your skulls, I'd like to bathe my feet in your guts, I could eat your heart, roasted! You think I'm weak - you think I loved you, because my womb wanted your seed, you think I want to carry your embryo under my heart and feed it with my blood, bear your child and take your name !"

99% of the people reading this aren't going to agree with the "love is bullshit" theory. Even though, Love is created by chemical reactions in the brain. Eating chocolate gives off the same chemicals in the brain, giving one the feeling of love. Eating chocolate seems like a better option.

Love is "supposed" to be this beautiful, magical thing and then today afternoon after my aha-moment, I realized its not. Its really not. A very negative way of looking at it some might say, I havent ever been in love, I dont intend on. By this time, our friend Anthea had shot us quite a few looks filled with pity, at least thats what I perceived it as. Pity. And she said, "you guys have lost it, completely" with such conviction that for a moment I really did feel like I've lost it.

I may change my mind a few years from now, I may not.

It seems pessimistic, I think for me, It's just practical.
Bullshit love.


Anonymous said...

lmao! :P
so i spoke to u about this earlier...
and well yea i kind of agree! (:
loved the post...although the literature and science bit (which was quite a bit) went over my head! xD :P
haha..sperm bank :O :P
and i'm too lazy to type the rest...and i don't think i want everyone to see either :P

go STUDY! >.<

Estragon/Vladimir. said...

hahahahahahahahaha.......woohooooo!!!!!!!! sperm we come!
but totally sound like a lesbian feminist persony person.

Rayna said...

niyati.... u already told me that and i said NO NO to lesbianism, what happened to the male prostitues and adopting animals and human children ;)
Why are you both vladimir and estragon dude... I'm vladimir !!

whoooop!!!!im so weird!!! said...

i'm EITHER vlad or estra ..... not both.and can we keep gaspard ulliel alive...please?

saru said...

hey rayna!!lol i jus love dis post of urs its hilarious!!!!
u rock.......

Aparna aka fellow GG :P said...

Well, what is love?

I agree. This whole 'disney', 'chick flick', 'action movie starring oh-so hot guy' kind of love gives us expectations. We think it'll happen to us one day and all that jazz. But, you're right. It is bullshit. There is no 'boy next door' or some guy running around with your glass slipper. It's a stereotyped 'love', that really doesn't exist.

But that's not 'love' for everyone, right? There is no specific definition, is there?

Awesome post, seriously!! You write really's brilliant!!:)

No wonder it's famous :D

Anonymous said...

dont u LOVE ure mom?

Rayna said...

anonymous - umm... romantic love we're talkin about here..
Aparna, saru....thanks =)

Adil said...

im sorry bt i didnt like it much. just seems like a fancy thought u hav come up with.

my opinion might b slightly biased owing to my sex, but u cnt claim yours isnt!

srmyxx said...

i go with practical. love is bullshit most of the time.
but honestly, i think theres something about getting through the pain and anger caused to us by the lesser species ;) that makes us adore love for some strange reason.
personally, i think we expect too much. we are in love with the idea of the picture perfect guy-of-our-dreams. we need to get over ourselves and realise everyone has their flaws

Rayna said...

adil...yeah it is very feminist. i know that....
surmayee...i agree with u man...

Shalaka said...

LOL Raynaa !

Sorry for the late comment btw.

Hilarious post. =) I do believe in love eventually, and yup, it is rumoured to be blind and deaf, but if so many people seem to be falling in love, then there's got to be something more that we're missing. And it doesn't have to be the chick flick, disney type love either.

Nice one!

menaka said...


commenting at long last. well i actually dont agree with you. love has many forms, and if you have experienced one form then that doesnt mean u wont experience another one pretty soon. each type of love, and encounter is different.

till then follow your theories, it dont hurt to be anti-love:P

Anonymous said...

rayy!! i totally feel you man!!
but i guess its always easier to judge and comment on something when you havent experienced it.. so i think its only fair that we owe it the most over rated strangest and greatest of emotions to first give it a chance and discover what the real deal is then complain.. :p
just a thought..
but the self-indulgent skeptical realistic resh says : put it there man!! :P kehee..
-- Reshinski! --

Anonymous said...

ure such a good liar man

anthea said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
anthea said...

i still think u have lost it....the disney stories are fantasies... u need to get over them.. anyway i dnt want to say much but ur blog seems quite interesting (u write well!!!!) i hope that, that someone who reads it realizes the fact... and i still dont think love=bullshit...(u need to think again)

Rayna said...

anthe....disney shit is fantasy, I realized that , got over it, and hence love is bullshit.

Advita said...

First up, i totally agree, it's all Cinderella/Ariel/Miss-I'm-Such-A-Damsel-In-Distress-Come-Save-Me's fault!
But, we're all suckers for Disney aren't we..?!

And yup with our (okay, mostly my own) history, i can see where you're coming from.. it sort of is a load of bull, isn't it?!

But who knows, maybe we'll change our minds someday..
"get our lives" =P

Oh, and the sperm bank idea plus the whole description of the blood, etc.. *shudders*
How about we all just live in peace, huh?! Let the one's who are in love be in love..

Overall, awesome post! But let's not absolutely hate love just as yet.. maybe it's just around the corner.. =P

P.S. Honestly, i prefer Jacob Black! <3
(Gee, im never going to learn.. *sighhh*)

Rayna said...

Hahaha "getting a life"
Honestly, I gave up on that loooong back !

Rajesh said...

Hi folks,

This is Rayna's Mama...I'm waayyyyy old...will be turning 40 later this year! So my words are either some old fool's ramblings, or pearls of wisdom...take your pick!

Love, IMO, has many forms, none of them of self, love of gf/bf, love of children, love of pets, love of country, love of religion/particular way of life...I can go on and on...

One thing in common, I think is that it inspires rising above the usual. It creates a drive to overcome everyday pettiness to give to a greater cause...not an easy thing to do.

I think everyone loves - something. But it is difficult to constantly give to this love, while still taking care of our selfish (but perfectly natural) needs/wants.

You never get perfect with love...that can be seen as a disappointment, or it can be seen as a constant "hobby" - something you keep working on, something you keep making better, and the next day, it gives you the opportunity to make it even better. Depends on how shitty or awesome you're feeling, any given day!

So...for the most part, I don't think you can avoid're bound to love something or someone. I suppose no one can compel you to love anyone / anything in particular, and to me, that's a good thing. You find one day that you're smitten...hopefully you love yourself enough to be able to give to that love the most you can give, and the rest...takes care of itself!

I love Star Wars...I love my wife...I love my kids...I love baseball...I love Rayna...I love my job...I love......

Nishant said...

Sorry, but that was one of the most 'bullshit' posts I have read.

You are gravely mistaken.

I am not ignorant of the chemical processes that trigger lust.

But you are gravely mistaken.

Nishant said...

Read more into it, Rayna, research more. Look at the other view of the debate. Don't fall for anything. Don't accept something because you are ignorant of the other side. Read, read what separates lust from love, what separates consciousness from subconsciousness and the attitude toward each. Love is not chemical. Love is spiritual. If you are convinced and rooted strongly in your view, you have blinded yourself to a love that deceives, not one that redeems. By the very definition of love, you are mistaken. You do not feel redeemed, inspired, transcendental with lust.

Your post is not about love, but lust. Lust is bioligical, a process of evolution in order to keep the species alive. Lust is triggered by endorphins and the like, love is a conscious effort. There is a difference. In fact, love may destroy a species, very unlike the laws of natural selection. I suppose you know what natural selection is, if you don't look it up. Also look up the separation of the brain and the mind. People die in the name of love, in order to be worthy of it.

If you wish to debate, feel free to talk to me on msn. Or something.

Mathew said...

Ok, so i was just a bit pissed off with the post. But let's look at the good side. You write really well =D. Part of it IS true. But think of it from the guys' side as well. We would also have dreams of a PERFECT girl you know. The movies seem to mislead both the sexes equally. So you can't exactly use that reason to say that love is bullshit. The word love has a much more deeper meaning than just liking someone of the opposite/same sex. It has so many meanings that people are often confused and to make life simpler they just don't want to believe in it.

But i STILL like the way you write! =D

Sonia said...

Okay, I completely disagree to this post! And I agree with EVERYTHING Nishant says. He hit the nail on the head!

Infatuation and lust in either one or both partners is what gets a heart broken and THAT is what is bullshit.

But Love, Love is patience, love is kindness, Love is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love is forgiveness. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. And Love, Love never fails.

Love Is Not Bullshit.